You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
