I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
