Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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