i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
