I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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