Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
