Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
