I feel great
I just peed on a car
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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