pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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