Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The Olympian is in my bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
