OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
