dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
