i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
