I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
