What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
