CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
