I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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