I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
