When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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