you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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