NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
