Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
smell my finger.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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