Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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