If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
