she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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