I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
