I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
