Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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