You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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