It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So here I am, sexting at work.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
