i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
