I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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