Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
