last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
