Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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