He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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