Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
