After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
