How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
