What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
