So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
