Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
