he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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