you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
