It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
