i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't deserve a penis
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
