last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
