i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
