I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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