if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
