Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
