Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
